


august slipped away into a moment in time (‘cause it was never mine)

by ohjenniekim



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, based on taylor swift’s august, chaelisa & a summer love affair, sorry blame taylor swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjenniekim/pseuds/ohjenniekim
Summary: Lisa has someone else and Chaeyoung should’ve known better.
Relationships: Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 21
Kudos: 135





	august slipped away into a moment in time (‘cause it was never mine)

_I’m in love with Lisa Manoban._ It was that thought that kept on repeating in Chaeyoung’s head as Lisa’s brown eyes stared right into hers. With that thought playing on a loop in her head, her gaze dropped to Lisa’s lips and she unconsciously bit her own. Chaeyoung saw Lisa did the same and she almost, _almost_ leaned forward to capture those plump lips in hers. 

But this was _Lisa Manoban_ and Lisa Manoban was also Kim Taehyung’s girlfriend and Chaeyoung knew it wouldn’t be right.

It took everything in Chaeyoung to get her back off the lockers and push Lisa away. 

Chaeyoung didn’t even remember how they got into that position in the first place—with Lisa inches away from her, pinning her against the lockers of the girls’ locker room.

Shaking her head, Chaeyoung swore that she would never let herself get that close to Lisa again. She didn’t think she’d have the willpower to resist next time.

But nothing ever went her way and next time came a second later.

Lisa grabbed Chaeyoung’s wrist and tugged her closer. It was the closest they had ever been to each other and Chaeyoung _knew_ she wouldn’t be able to resist.

“Lisa…” Chaeyoung whispered. She didn’t know what Lisa wanted from her. Lisa had someone, why would she want Chaeyoung?

“Kiss me.” Lisa whispered back and Chaeyoung thought she _had_ to be dreaming. But Lisa repeated her words once again and Chaeyoung felt all the air rush out her body.

“Are you sure?”

Chaeyoung knew that she was crazy to even think about agreeing to the girl in front of her. But having Lisa so close after years of admiring her from afar, Chaeyoung was starting to feel every selfish bone in her body.

So when Lisa nodded, Chaeyoung didn’t waste another second before she pulled Lisa’s neck and crashed their lips together.

Lisa’s hands immediately went to Chaeyoung’s hips, lifting her up and pushing her against the lockers. Chaeyoung knew the door was unlocked and anyone could come in at any moment, but she didn’t care. Instead, she wrapped her legs around Lisa’s waist and enjoyed the soft moans coming from the younger girl as Chaeyoung ran her hand through Lisa’s long jet-black hair.

It was the middle of summer break. Chaeyoung was taking her book that she left and she decided to enter the locker room because she wanted a place to read before she had to go home. Chaeyoung knew that cheer practice had long ended so it was a surprise when she found the cheer captain herself to still be there. 

It was another surprise to have her book forgotten on the floor along with her discarded clothes as she spent hours worshipping every single inch of Lisa Manoban’s body.

-

_But I can see us lost in the memory_

_August slipped away into a moment in time_

_'Cause it was never mine_

-

That incident at the locker room happened again a week later. Chaeyoung went with her parents to have dinner at their friends’ house. 

The friends turned out to be Lisa’s parents and Chaeyoung couldn’t help how wide her eyes went at the sight of Lisa opening the front door. 

Unlike last time, Lisa didn’t have her cheerleading outfit on. This Lisa had a pair of skinny jeans and a white crop top that slightly showed off her abs and Chaeyoung felt so full of a sin for having memories of ripping Lisa’s top while she was with her parents.

“Mr and Mrs Park, happy to see you again.” Lisa greeted them with a hug and a smile on her face. She turned to Chaeyoung and Chaeyoung was surprised when Lisa went to hug her too. _“Happy to see you again too, Chae.”_

“Oh, since when do you two know each other?” Mrs Park’s tone was full of surprise and Chaeyoung didn’t blame her one bit—her parents had been nagging at her to befriend someone for years.

“Just recently,” Lisa answered, her eyes fixated on Chaeyoung. “We spent hours getting to know each other last week.”

Chaeyoung cleared her throat, looking away. They definitely spent hours getting to know each other, but it most definitely _wasn’t_ what her parents were thinking about.

“That’s good to hear!” Mrs Park laughed. “We were starting to think that Rosie would be stuck with no friends for the rest of life.”

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes at her mom. “I’m fine with that.”

“Rosie?”

“Hm?” Chaeyoung’s head snapped towards Lisa.

Lisa looked confused. “Isn’t your name Chaeyoung?”

“I’m also called Roseanne—or Rosie,” Chaeyoung explained. “Chaeyoung’s my birth name.”

“Didn’t you two spent hours with each other last week?” Mr Park asked, head shaking in amusement.

Chaeyoung could only pray that her face wasn’t turning completely red. “It—it didn’t come up.”

Lisa only laughed and ushered them inside. When her parents were out of earshot, Lisa whispered to her ears, “Can’t wait to know which of your names will be my favourite to scream out.”

Chaeyoung couldn’t concentrate on the entire dinner.

-

_And I can see us twisted in bedsheets_

_August sipped away like a bottle of wine_

_'Cause you were never mine_

-

Lisa’s face was the first thing Chaeyoung saw when she opened her eyes. Lisa was looking at her, lying on her side with one hand under her head. Her long black hair was messy, the sunlight seeping through the curtains made her sun-kissed skin glow more than usual. Chaeyoung thought that Lisa was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

Chaeyoung cleared her throat. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Lisa said back. “Thanks for sleeping over.”

“Thanks?” Chaeyoung laughed.

Lisa hummed, grinning. “Yes, thanks. You are so good with your—”

“Lisa!” Chaeyoung immediately put her hand on Lisa’s mouth and Lisa laughed in response.

“I’m only joking,” Lisa took Chaeyoung’s hand and intertwined it with hers. “You’re fun to talk to.”

“We only talked for… an hour.” Chaeyoung noted.

“Still,” Lisa shrugged. “I really like talking to you.”

They went quiet after that. Chaeyoung noted how the silence was far from awkward despite them barely knowing each other. 

Lisa’s hands moved to caress Chaeyoung’s cheeks and Chaeyoung was starting to feel the weight of her touch. What was Chaeyoung doing? She had no right to be in Lisa’s bed. Chaeyoung knew how wrong it was. 

But at the same time, it felt so right that she couldn’t help but bury herself deeper into Lisa’s bedsheets, swallowing herself with scents of the younger girl.

“Why are you staring at me?” Chaeyoung whispered.

“Because you’re beautiful.”

Chaeyoung scoffed. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Lisa furrowed her brows. “You’re very beautiful, Chaeyoung.”

“There are more beautiful people.”

“Like who?” Lisa looked curious.

“You.”

Chaeyoung had front row seats to the way Lisa’s cheek turned a brighter red and she enjoyed how Lisa tried to act unaffected by Chaeyoung’s words.

“Well, I _am_ beautiful.” Lisa said, her voice teasing.

“Aaand I’m leaving.” Chaeyoung sat up, pretending to leave.

“No,” Lisa whined, tugging her back down. “But you’re more beautiful, is what I meant to say.”

Chaeyoung snuggled into Lisa’s chest. She wondered how something so wrong could feel so right.

“Should we put some clothes on?” 

“Why?” Lisa asked, her hand gently stroking Chaeyoung’s back.

“Because,” Chaeyoung stopped Lisa’s hand that was trailing further and further down. “Your parents can come in at any second.”

“True.” Despite that, Lisa made no move to untangle herself from Chaeyoung, only hugging her tighter. 

Chaeyoung giggled. “So can you let go of me or…?”

“This feels nice.”

“But your parents—”

“I locked the door.”

Chaeyoung playfully slapped Lisa’s arms. “You couldn’t say that in the beginning?”

Lisa giggled and kissed the top of Chaeyoung’s head.

Chaeyoung closed her eyes and sighed in content. It felt really nice being in Lisa’s arms. With Lisa this close to her, Chaeyoung could pretend that Lisa was hers—even if it was just for a moment.

“Lisa?”

“Hm?”

“This does feel nice, doesn’t it?”

“It does.”

“What are you doing for the rest of the summer?” Chaeyoung asked.

“Spending time with you, if you’re free.” Lisa answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’ll make myself free for you then.” That wasn’t what she should have answered. Chaeyoung should’ve resisted Lisa’s grip and went home that day and erased any memories of Lisa.

“I still have cheer practice on weekdays. How about weekends?”

But Chaeyoung decided that being with Lisa was too addicting.

“Weekends it is.”

So Chaeyoung let herself pretend a little longer.

-

_lis: come join me at the beach_

_chae: it’s so hot out today_

_lis: it’s the perfect weather_

_lis: plus it’s saturday_

_lis: it’s a weekend right?_

_lis: I miss you_

_chae: fine_

-

_Your back_

_Beneath the sun_

_Wishing I could write my name on it_

-

“Told you it’s the perfect weather.”

Chaeyoung looked to her right. Lisa was laying on her front, her back in full display and Chaeyoung wanted nothing more than to run her hands up and down the bare skin. But there were people around and Chaeyoung was sure that what they had could only happen behind closed doors.

“Yeah.” Chaeyoung turned her attention back to her book, but she couldn’t concentrate on what she was reading. Not when she could feel Lisa’s gaze on her.

“What book are you reading?”

“Anna Karenina.”

“Oh, I’ve read that before.”

Chaeyoung looked at Lisa amused. “You have?”

Lisa laughed. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

Chaeyoung shrugged, a smile on her lips. “You don’t seem like the type who reads books.”

“Hey! I do!” Lisa lifted her head up, resting her chin on the palm of her hands. “Anna had an affair right? And she ran away with her lover to Italy, or something.”

Chaeyoung hummed. “Like what we’re doing right now, isn’t it? Minus the running away part.”

Lisa didn’t say anything at that and Chaeyoung realized how they had never talked about their situation before.

“Lisa—”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” It was the first time that Chaeyoung heard Lisa sound so timid. “I’m still with Taehyung.”

Chaeyoung’s heart broke at Lisa’s words. She did know from the start that Lisa had someone else and that this wasn’t meant to be anything more than a love affair, but still, it _hurt_.

“I won’t,” Chaeyoung tried her best to smile. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know it’s not fair to you,” Lisa broke their eye contact, her fingers started playing aimlessly with the sand. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay,” Chaeyoung replied. She focused her gaze back to her book, trying her best to not show her emotions—at least, not now, not when Lisa was in front of her. “I’ve always known you have him.”

It was far from fine. Chaeyoung felt horrible. She knew a million reasons why this whole thing was wrong.

But Chaeyoung was in love with Lisa Manoban and Chaeyoung just wanted to be selfish for a little longer.

So when a notification popped up in Lisa’s phone and Chaeyoung saw a boy kissing Lisa’s cheek on the lockscreen, Chaeyoung pretended she didn’t see it.

-

_Will you call when you're back at school?_

_I remember thinkin' I had you_

-

Meeting on the weekend became a frequent thing and soon enough, weekends turned into weekdays too. 

Chaeyoung would walk down to her kitchen to find Lisa already having breakfast with her parents. Or on days where Chaeyoung woke up earlier than usual, she would ride her bike to Lisa’s house and jump on top of Lisa’s sleeping figure (to which Lisa would always complain but Chaeyoung could still see the hint of smile). 

They would have sleepovers on weekends and mornings together before Lisa had to leave for cheer practice on weekdays. Sometimes Chaeyoung would come with and sit on the bleachers, a book in hand, but her eyes would always focus on Lisa. And although they never come together—Lisa with her car and Chaeyoung on her bike—Chaeyoung wouldn’t have it any other way. 

(If Lisa’s friends started noticing Chaeyoung on the school grounds despite it being summer break, they never mentioned it.)

Once everyone left, Chaeyoung would knock on the girl’s locker room and Lisa would be there to open the door and pull Chaeyoung inside. 

Chaeyoung truly hated how she was getting used to the smell of sweat with the amount of time she spent in the locker room.

“You know,” Lisa trailed a finger down Chaeyoung’s chest. “You’re the best one I ever had.”

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. “I bet you say that to everyone.”

They were on the floor of the locker room, their clothes spread out haphazardly around them. Chaeyoung was laying on her back, Lisa on top of her. Despite the cold, hard floor, Chaeyoung enjoyed every second of having Lisa’s weight pressed against her.

“No, it’s true,” Lisa smiled flirtatiously. “Who knew? Park Chaeyoung, a monster in bed.”

“You’re always so blunt,” Chaeyoung laughed and leaned forward to peck Lisa’s lips. “We’re not even in a bed right now.”

“Does your back hurt?”

“Just a bit.” Lisa looked worried at Chaeyoung’s answer so Chaeyoung quickly flashed her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay though, I’m getting used to the floor.”

Lisa shook her head and smiled amusedly at the blonde. “Maybe I should buy a bed.”

Chaeyoung hummed. “And how will you explain to everyone that there’s a bed in the locker room?”

Lisa rested her head on Chaeyoung’s chest and Chaeyoung instantly wrapped her arms around Lisa. “I’ll just say that it’s none of their business.”

Chaeyoung laughed in response and hugged Lisa tighter.

“Are you hungry?” Lisa asked.

“I’m always hungry.”

“I knew you’d say that.” Lisa’s tone was full of endearment and Chaeyoung couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips. “Let me sleep for five minutes then we’ll grab some lunch, okay?”

Before Chaeyoung could reply, she could already hear Lisa’s soft snores. Chaeyoung let out a chuckle, her hand tracing circles on Lisa’s back as she stared at the ceiling.

Chaeyoung didn’t know how long it would last, she was naive to think it would be forever.

-

They bumped into Lisa’s friends at lunch. They were standing outside a sushi restaurant, waiting to be seated, when Chaeyoung saw two familiar brunettes walking towards their direction.

Chaeyoung tugged at their intertwined hands. “Lis, isn’t that…” Chaeyoung trailed off. What were their names? She couldn’t remember. She didn’t remember anyone’s name on the cheerleading squad besides Lisa.

“Jennie and Jisoo.” Chaeyoung wasn’t surprised when Lisa immediately dropped her hand.

Lisa looked anxious, she was looking around and Chaeyoung wondered if she was going to ask Chaeyoung to leave.

Chaeyoung could see Jennie and Jisoo recognizing Lisa as they walked closer and closer. And once they were right in front of them, one of them spoke up. “Lisa? Thought you were too tired from practice to join us.”

“I am.” Lisa answered quickly. Her posture was tense and any trace of smile that she had on previously had now completely disappeared—Chaeyoung noted that this was how Lisa acted in school. 

It was then that Lisa’s friends noticed Chaeyoung standing next to Lisa. They looked her up and down and the girl, who Chaeyoung remembered to be Jennie, whispered to Lisa (albeit too loudly for it to be called a whisper). “Are you here with Park Chaeyoung?”

Lisa moved away from Chaeyoung and Chaeyoung would be lying to say that it didn’t hurt.

“I’m not.”

Chaeyoung wasn’t surprised at Lisa’s answer, after all no one was supposed to know about them.

Jennie and Jisoo didn’t seem to believe Lisa, so Chaeyoung stepped back, moving to leave. “Yeah, no, I was just asking her if the food here was good.”

When Lisa didn’t say anything else, still keeping her eyes glued to the floor, Chaeyoung turned around and left.

-

_lis: I’m sorry_

-

_Back when we were still changin' for the better_

_Wanting was enough_

_For me, it was enough_

_To live for the hope of it all_

_Cancel plans just in case you'd call_

-

Lisa didn’t call or text Chaeyoung again for a few days and Chaeyoung decided that she wasn’t going to be the first one to do so.

But despite everything, Chaeyoung missed Lisa. 

And it was for that reason that Chaeyoung spent her Saturday waiting by her phone in hopes that a notification from Lisa would appear.

When night time came and there was still nothing from the younger girl, Chaeyoung decided that waiting was hopeless, she turned off her phone and started getting ready for bed.

She managed to turn off all the lights and slid under the covers, yet every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was her and Lisa tangled in bedsheets.

Chaeyoung wondered how she would be able to forget Lisa when Lisa was all she could think about.

-

Chaeyoung woke up in the middle of the night. The first thing she noticed was the sudden weight against her back. She looked down and saw an arm encircling her waist and she was surprised that Lisa managed to enter her room without waking her up (Lisa was the noisiest person Chaeyoung had ever met).

Chaeyoung sighed and turned around. Lisa wasn’t asleep. After hours of watching her sleep, Chaeyoung could tell when Lisa was only pretending. So Chaeyoung leaned forward and placed her forehead against hers.

Lisa’s eyes slowly blinked open and despite it being dark, the moonlight from the window was able to illuminate Lisa’s features perfectly.

“Hi,” Lisa whispered. “Your parents let me in.”

“I thought you were never going to come,” Chaeyoung confessed.

“It’s Saturday, we promised the weekends didn’t we?” Lisa brought her hand up to Chaeyoung’s face, trailing a finger from her forehead down to her chin. “I’m late, but I’m here.”

Chaeyoung offered a small smile. Was she pathetic for finally feeling at ease with Lisa next to her? 

“About the thing with Jennie and Jisoo—” Lisa started but Chaeyoung quickly interrupted her.

“It’s okay.” _It wasn’t._

Chaeyoung knew what Lisa did was unnecessary. She could’ve just told Jennie and Jisoo that they were friends. But she didn’t. Lisa pretended she didn’t know Chaeyoung and it hurt.

So, no, it wasn’t okay.

But Chaeyoung was in love with Lisa Manoban and she didn’t want to lose her. “No one can know, right?” Chaeyoung gave her a small smile—it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

She’d take having Lisa in secret than not having her at all.

-

_So much for summer love and saying "us"_

_'Cause you weren't mine to lose_

-

“Taehyung’s back.”

Lisa said it so casually one night that Chaeyoung was caught off guard. Her hand that was gently stroking Lisa’s back stopped mid-air and she slowly sat up, leaning against the headboard and bringing the covers closer to her chest.

All at once, all the dread that Chaeyound had been trying not to feel came rushing in and after a month of running around with Lisa by her side in secret, reality had finally sunk in and Chaeyoung couldn’t do anything but hope that after everything, Chaeyoung meant something to Lisa.

Chaeyoung knew it was a long shot, but she hoped Lisa would choose her.

“Right.” Chaeyoung replied, because what else was she supposed to say? She didn’t even know where he had gone, she never asked about him and Lisa never talked about him either. 

The only thing Chaeyoung knew about Lisa’s boyfriend was that he had something that Chaeyoung badly wanted.

Lisa fished for a t-shirt that was on the floor and put it on. (Chaeyoung tried to count just how many of her clothing Lisa had brought home and never returned.)

Lisa sat cross-legged in front of her. “What’s with the face?”

“What face?”

Lisa gently touched Chaeyoung’s forehead. “You’re frowning.”

“Oh,” Chaeyoung shook her head, giving a chuckle. “I don’t know.”

They were quiet for a while. Chaeyoung knew how this night would end—she hoped she was wrong though.

But when Lisa smiled and it was a smile so wistful, Chaeyoung knew that she was going to end up with a broken heart.

“You made my summer more bearable, you know,” Lisa admitted. “I only had cheer practice and I would hang out with my friends sometimes, but with you, it was so… exhilarating. You made me feel so many things at once, I always felt like I couldn’t keep up.”

Chaeyoung stayed quiet. This wasn’t fair. She did know Lisa had someone else, but after everything they had been through this August, did everything mean nothing to Lisa?

“You’re going to end things, aren’t you?” Chaeyoung spoke up, her voice barely a whisper.

Lisa didn’t answer and it was the confirmation she needed.

“I know what we did is wrong,” Chaeyoung continued. “It will never be right and I’ll always feel guilty about it. But don’t I mean something to you, Lisa?”

Lisa pulled her knees to her chest, a sigh escaping her lips. “You mean everything to me.”

“Then?” Chaeyoung’s voice was desperate. “Why are you still with him?”

“It’s complicated.”

Chaeyoung scoffed. “What can be so complicated?”

Lisa gave a small shrug and didn’t elaborate further. So Chaeyoung took a deep breath and leaned forward, taking Lisa’s hands in hers. “Be with me.”

“Chae… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“But I love you.”

Lisa’s head immediately snapped up. “You can’t.”

Chaeyoung furrowed her brows. “I do.”

“We can’t do this anymore, Chae,” Lisa took her hand away from Chaeyoung’s grip. “Summer’s over.”

“Was that all I ever was to you? A summer fling?”

Lisa didn’t reply, instead she stood up and put her pants on, rummaging around for her bag.

“Lisa,” Chaeyoung’s voice was a plea. “You’re leaving?”

Lisa took a deep breath and Chaeyoung could see how teary her eyes were. “Please don’t chase after me. We can’t do this anymore.”

Stopping at the door, Lisa turned to Chaeyoung one last time and whispered an _“I’m sorry”._

That was the last time Lisa stepped foot in Chaeyoung’s bedroom.

-

Chaeyoung should’ve known better. 

Walking through the hallways on the first day back to school, Chaeyoung’s eyes couldn’t help but search for Lisa. With every step she took, her mind was always full of Lisa.

And when Chaeyoung finally spotted her, standing by her locker with Taehyung next to her, their hands intertwined, Chaeyoung heard her heart break in two.

She should’ve known better.

Their eyes met and Chaeyoung _still_ hoped that Lisa would change her mind.

But Lisa looked away and Chaeyoung had to swallow the bitter reality that Lisa would never be hers.

Walking to her first class that day, Chaeyoung wondered how she could find someone else when the only person that was on her mind was Lisa.

“How was your summer?”

Chaeyoung shrugged. She didn’t even know who had asked her the question, she kept her eyes on the board, not bothered to look sideways. 

“I feel you,” the girl continued. “August was somehow the worst month.”

Chaeyoung scoffed, her heart breaking and breaking at all the memories. “I agree.”

It was at that moment that Lisa entered the class, hair in a ponytail, looking everywhere but Chaeyoung.

They had several classes together but not once did Lisa look Chaeyoung’s way.

Chaeyoung wondered how quickly Lisa was able to forget about August when Chaeyoung still had dreams of it every time she closed her eyes.

Just before Chaeyoung went home, she found a note in her locker. Chaeyoung hated how a piece of paper was able to make her cry, but she kept it in the pocket of her jacket, close to her heart, nonetheless. 

Chaeyoung spent the whole bike ride home thinking about whether she should forget or keep her dreams of Lisa.

She decided that for now, having Lisa’s smile in her dreams was better than not seeing it at all.

_I really am sorry for everything_

_\- Lisa_

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry for any mistakes :))


End file.
